Reflections

Let me make decisions myself

2010-10-03T14:52:00.003+01:00

Why do people insist on imparting their (ok, well intentioned) advice? I appreciate all the well-meaning but I am of the firm opinion that these more often than not handicaps people. To the point where they cannot make their own decisions. Please leave me alone. Please let me make my own decisions. If I need advice, I will ask. My pride does not get in the way, honest, I will ask.

If I've made my decision and it's not one that harms anyone, please do not ask why, where, when, how, what. Please accept it. No sarky remarks need to be given either. If I've not made my decision, then please do not keep pushing it.

I pray for God's guidance in all my decisions, and that He will put the right people there to guide me in the right way.

I need to know

2010-03-18T16:36:00.003Z

I have been wondering for many years now what God has in store for me. I may be blind and deaf as I am still wondering. What is it that God wants me to do? Maybe I don't know how to hear properly. Maybe that's it - I have to learn better there.

I'm getting disillusioned and unmotivated. Before this impacts significantly on my life and also before it becomes ungodly, I really need to know. Should I just leave? Should I do something else? Should I have a different direction? I really don't know. And I really need to know.

Why do people talk in codes?

2009-12-01T15:38:00.003Z

"Erm, did that person...what's his name...we met him yesterday....get back to you about putting that thing on the cabinet..." What person? What thing? Why don't people think before they say something? Pure laziness. You've already got someone's attention so speak properly. That sentence just said makes no sense whatsoever and leaves the other person wondering what it was all about in the first place. Better not to have said anything at all.

As the saying goes "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" and in this case "If you don't have anything new and relevant to add, don't say anything at all". The amount of times (which funnily has increased tremendously since moving countries) when people open their mouths for the sheer sake of it has astounded me. They have more or less repeated the same thing someone else has said a few minutes ago or feels the need to hear their own voice or remind other people they're still there. Waste of time.

Sounds Easy

2009-10-31T09:02:00.004Z

I'm wondering what to do. Wondering what I can do. It sounds so easy. Understand what you are good at, what you are bad at, what you are passionate about and make it your job. Hmm....

I wish I knew. People have told me what I'm good at. Even more have told me what I'm bad at. :) Not really sure what I'm passionate about. I'm more of a jack-of-all-trades, master-of-none. Can I make a living out of that? I really don't know.

I've toyed with the idea of this years ago but I was very happy in what I was doing and could see all the things I was learning. There was no point getting out of it. I'm now thinking about this idea a lot more seriously. Like several times a day sometimes, which can be very negative and obsessive! What I need to figure out is what I should do instead. I know what I want and what I don't want. I just need to find out what I can do to make it all happen and the right time for all this to happen.

Sounds easy but it's not! It's been stumping me for ages!

Continuing the Uncertainty

2009-10-17T15:23:00.003+01:00

I remember all the uncertainty I had about relocation and whether it was the right thing to do. I thought we made the decision and then all else would follow on. Ah, how naive I was.

The uncertainty continues. Every step of the way. Almost, if not every day. I still wonder if we did the right thing. I still feel very much like I don't belong. I have prayed for God to tell me what His plan is. Surely He has a reason for why I am here. I am still trying to find out what it is. I hope I've not been so blind as to miss His plan! Is it to make me appreciate even more what I had before? Because I've always appreciated what I had before. Really.

Each time I go back, I realise how good it was and how I could have continued with it. And how nothing now compares to it. In everything. Sure, there are good and bad as with everything but the good for me there was really good and the bad for me was very tolerable. Not so here. I try not to live my life comparing my life before with my life now. Surely it will be different but it's quite difficult when it's different in the wrong direction! I guess the only consolation is that I now know that if it had been my decision, it would have been the right one. And others are beginning to realise that too. Shame it was not realised before as it would have saved a lot of this!

With the uncertainty now comes people telling me not to do certain things because it is certain the decision will change. All very well and I have to keep biting my tongue to say "I told you so". But I can't live my life to continue being unsettled and not doing certain things just because the decision will change. That means that I can't live each moment to its fullest. Because what's the point? It will change anyways. In which case, why not give it all up now? To which many will tell me I can't either. One just can't win. It's so annoying when people interfere. Ugh.

It seems silly

2009-10-03T19:00:00.002+01:00

I don't know why I feel like this. It's not like I am starving, in poverty, in any sort of huge problem. Yet, I feel sad and void. I really should feel blessed. I have so much. I have people who love me. I have people who look out for me. I keep telling myself that but it does not work.

It seems silly thinking back about little problems. Things that may not even have happened. It is silly to worry about stupid things.

Lord, I commit these stupid little worries to You. Please give me the wisdom to realise how stupid it all is and how stupid I would be to let it affect me.

Alpha

2009-09-07T15:32:00.002+01:00

We've signed up for the Alpha course starting next month. B is coming along too.

Yay!!!

Choice to be Useless

2009-08-02T14:05:00.004+01:00

Why do some people choose to be useless? I'm talking about people who have fully functional limbs and brain, as far as I can tell. Why do they choose to be dependent on others?

You are lucky to be blessed with hands that can pick up the telephone to book your car service, to have a voice to ask the question yourself, have access to technology to login to the Internet and book accommodation/flights yourself, legs to bring you to the shop to buy/collect whatever it is you need, ears to listen to instructions so you know how to operate the computer / lift / phone / etc and a combination of motor functions to drive a car yourself.

Why do some people pretend to be incapable of doing the simplest of tasks? To pretend that they can't do it? Simply because they are too lazy. Most of the time because they can get away with having someone else do it.

Be ashamed of yourselves. If you can't lift the cupboard hence need help from someone stronger? Fair enough. If you're not tall enough to reach to the top of the shelf and there is not a chair in sight, so need someone taller to help? Ok.

Especially be ashamed that you are healthy and fit, yet choose not to use what God has blessed you with, in order to function properly in life. Be ashamed that there are other less healthy people in the world who can do all these things and more. Because they have the right attitude. Because they are not lazy.

Be ashamed if you use your gender or age to your advantage too. I know of a 20+year old woman who got others to book her ticket and fly the same airline as her (even though it was more expensive and took longer) just so she can get air miles on her trip. Shame also on the rest who stupidly followed through. The same woman gets gentlemen to do her errands she is perfectly capable of doing herself. Shame on these gentlemen who do not think with their proper head. I know of another older woman (but not so old that she is hard of hearing, or has sight issues or has motor issues) who is dependent on others to go for meals so she does not have to choose the restaurant herself. I know of a woman who had to bring someone else along to carry a small box - which weighed perhaps 2kg? I know of a man in his 60s who is capable of driving himself on the 2hr journey to the capital, but incapable of driving his mother on the same journey (no additional equipment needed except for space for one extra person of which his car is big enough to handle).

Shame on all of you if you choose to be useless. And shame also on those of you who allow these people to be useless. If you pander to their requests for help simply because they are too lazy to do it themselves, shame on you. You are encouraging one to be lazy. That help would be better suited to help those who really need the help, like the elderly, disabled, uneducated...

If one is too lazy to be useful for themselves, my stance is 'Too Bad'. If you can't be bothered to do it yourself, then it obviously isn't important enough for you. Call me harsh, but I'm not going to waste my time helping lazy people - I will help those who do need help.

Need to read more

2009-07-12T12:22:00.001+01:00

As I flicked through magazines yesterday during lunch, I realised how little I actually read these days. Ashamed as I am to say this, I actually browse through the pictures to see if anything catches my fancy before I read in more detail. When I realised this halfway through the browse, I tried forcing myself to read the next article. And I was too tired to!

My oh my. These weren't even technical journals. They were women's magazines, which as anyone would know, is hardly difficult to read! How I used to have my nose buried in a book, unable to put it down. I could usually be found sitting in the aisles of a bookstore reading the books (hence saving money as I could finish the book in the store and thus not have to buy it.)

I went through a phase of not allowing myself to read, in case I fell to my habit of not putting the book down until I've finished it - usually at the expense of sleep. Then a wise colleague encouraged me back to the love of reading and there I was, week after week, looking through the shelves of the library.

So what happened this time? I don't know, really. Just laziness, I suppose. I could blame the lack of good libraries here. But perhaps I didn't really go bother looking anyways. Perhaps it's time I tried again.

Offended at THAT???

2009-07-11T15:29:00.003+01:00

I had an almost nasty encounter with a titled-person this morning. It is funny that people take offence at the weirdest things. Get all high and mighty because they believe you infer something else that you actually did not even think about, but was just giving factual information. It stems all from your own insecurity and inferiority, m'dear. It doesn't bother me anymore. Get offended if you wish. Just in case no one has told you (or has dared to tell you), your title doesn't actually count for much to educated people and definitely nothing outside the area you are in. Try mentioning that title to people outside this area, and they would think it's your first name! So, if you want to get offended, feel free to get your blood pressure up and all stressy. It's ok by me!

Reflecting on the title

2009-05-09T09:23:00.006+01:00

When I first started this blog, it was meant for me to jot down my thoughts and also share what I have been to. For whoever who wanted to read. Recently, I reread a lot of old posts. I realised that of late, my posts have been rants. Yes, it is still me jotting down my thoughts but those are now more of frustration and anger.

I am sorry. Realise it does not make for happy reading. Or maybe you do laugh - at all the lil things I get frustrated about. I guess the blog has taken on a slightly different objective. Not so much sharing what I have been up to in terms of activities, hols or things of that sort. More of an outlet for my frustrations so that I don't go insane keeping them in me or drive hubby and friends bored to tears (or less so) with my rants.

If it bores you, then please don't read such posts. Though I think most of the new posts will be of that sort.

Look in the mirror

2009-05-08T13:24:00.002+01:00

Some people should learn to self-reflect more. You want to preach something, make sure you are doing the same thing. You are not above the law, ok? Tell me all about being self sufficient and not ask for too much blah blah, and what do you do less than an hour later? Asking me for things that I'd given before, and totally not aware that this was against what you had just said.

With all you've gone through, you are supposed to know more. Both in knowledge and soft skills. Try showing some. Stop stooping to levels so low that I would not even think possible before. If you are insecure about yourself, that's your problem. Stop trying to make other people look incompetent. Learn some respect for yourself.

I've had enough. I am holding it in because I don't see the need to be petty. But continue pushing me. Go on. See what my limits are. Perhaps this is a good way for me to see my own limits too. But trust you me, I do have my limits. Try pushing some more.

Don't Give Me That

2009-04-21T13:12:00.002+01:00

Don't give me that arsy, sarky attitude. I try and help. Don't give me that smirk. The arsy comment. The "whatever" attitude. The spiel about ALNA.

It's not my fault and you know that. If you are annoyed, give that @*#$ to whoever's fault it is. Not anyone else. All I was trying to do is to try and rectify things. Yes, things are uncertain and we don't know for sure. But hey, if you want to just sit there and wait until things are sure before you start planning for either eventuality, you go do just that. It's a simple scenario. If it happens, we do this. If it doesn't happen, we do that. That's simple enough. You can say you agree or disagree with it. I'm ok with the disagreement. Not that smirk, arsy comment and attitude.

Whatever you did not want to happen, happened. It was not a life/death situation - far from it. I'm not saying that means it's not important. All I'm doing is putting it in context here. You want to continue sitting there and stewing because it didn't go as planned. Do that. You do just that. Yourself. Alone. Don't take it out on anyone else whose fault it was not. Don't raise their blood pressure just because you can't handle it. I want to try and see how to make things better. What's the point of stewing and stressing without any action to resolve or minimise damage?

Whatever. Just strengthened my resolve not to bother helping. Do it yourself.

Head in the Sand

2009-04-20T13:20:00.003+01:00

You know what? I don't care. Well, I used to. But I'm going to stop caring.

Why can't some people look beyond the self? Look at the bigger impact. Hey, you know, maybe just one more person aside from yourself. I am tired of trying to be helpful to others, trying to think of the "bigger picture". Trying to achieve the same goal. What happens? People expect you to be like this all the time. You get taken advantage of. You get asked to do all the rubbish stuff. Work piles up because you hardly get through your pile of work since you are trying to handle more urgent tasks elsewhere. All in the name of thinking that you are all working towards the same goal. Umm...well yes, it works if it's other's responsibilities you are supposed to help out on, but not when it's yours.

I am tired. Tired of trying to be equal. Tired of trying to be helpful. Tired of thinking of others.

Why do some people think some tasks are beneath them? What's wrong with taking out the garbage yourself? Or answering the phone? Or photocopying? Or folding your own clothes? Or going to the bank, post office, wherever? Or answering the door? Why are some people so stuck in their minds that their time is so much more valuable that they can't do these things but they should leave it to the driver/ maid/ underlings to do?

I respect those at the top who truly operate in a non-hierarchical way. I mean this in family, work, team, company etc. Yes, there should be certain roles for certain people. But this does not mean the belief that you "should not do such things" either because 1) it is not your responsibility or 2) it is not becoming of someone in your position to do a lowly task like that.

Great leaders are those who earn respect not by being hierarchical or instilling fear in others. Great leaders are those who earn respect by being one of the team and not being afraid to lend a hand - whether it is to dig a hole, wash the car, write meeting minutes, carry the groceries/bags.

You know what? Get over yourself and just try to work for the mutual objective. If you want to stick your head in the sand and just focus on your own lil' things... fine, we can all do the same. Let us all stick our heads in the sand, not care about each other, any common goals/objectives and just operate that way. Wouldn't life be fun.

Why oh why

2009-03-02T15:09:00.003Z

Why oh why do people need to have a say in everything? I want my independence. I don't feel the need to answer and justify to anyone except God.

Lessons in Logic

2009-03-02T15:04:00.002Z

Received the following email from my sister-in-law and it cracked me up. Hope it does the same for you!

Lessons in Logic

If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.

..........................................................................

I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.

..........................................................................

Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?

..........................................................................

If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?

..........................................................................

Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.

..........................................................................

How come 'abbreviated' is such a long word?

..........................................................................

Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.

..........................................................................

One should love animals.
They are so tasty.

..........................................................................

Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

..........................................................................

Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.

..........................................................................

God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.

..........................................................................

A bus station is where a bus stops..

A train station is where a train stops.

On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say........

Just Let Me Be

2009-02-06T06:16:00.002Z

I know myself. I know my limits. Just let me be. You know I will push myself. You have seen me do that. But I don't do well when others push me and give well-intentioned advice. Just leave me alone. At my own pace.

One Way God has Worked in My Life

2009-01-26T14:59:00.005Z

Last week's sermon at church made me realise how God had really worked in my life.

I remembered the first time I was really really down. A piece of news was delivered to me which whilst it did not catch me by total surprise, still made me choke. I could not breathe. My stomach hurt in a funny way it had not ached before. I did not know what to think and for lack of knowing what to do, I got my car keys and just drove - just to get out. The next day and following days, I threw myself into work. Despite working 11-hour day 6-7 days a week for the past 10months, I made myself concentrate even more on work. That, I believed, would help me. In a way, perhaps it did, but I now realise how wrong that solution was.

Fast forward a few years later when I was in a similar situation. By then, God had started to work in me. I remember when the initial thought came that the situation was potentially repeating itself, I was in our homegroup retreat and I was staring out at the fields. And instead of feeling the way I did before, I remember how I just prayed days and months that whatever the outcome was, it was what He wanted. Even if it was not the outcome I wanted. I did not get the choking, the breathlessness and the strange stomachache. I did not run out and immerse myself in running, driving or working. I just felt calm. I may be losing something I worked very hard on, but I was not as distressed as I was before. I remember committing it to Him and saying that He should take it if it was meant to, and to help me deal with the consequences in the right way. In the end, God made sure I did not lose it. I trusted in Him. I did lose other things in the process, but I believe that was meant to be - showing me others' true colours despite all that has happened.

I did not realise the differences in my reaction to two very similar situations until the sermon - that it was down to God's work. I had thought before that it was because I became better at handling these things. How self-centred that was! I still wonder about certain things in those two situations. I don't think I will ever know the full picture. When I'm feeling a bit uncertain or down, I think back to the little details and ask myself 'why', 'what did it mean', 'should I have done it differently', etc. And because of that, I will remind myself of the following poem as some of the lines hold true to this current post, and the rest are true to my previous post 'Reflection'. I realise how I used to be able to focus on the positive, and I want to get back there.

Think of the things that make you happy
not of the things that make sad
Think of the fine and true in mankind
not its sordid side and bad
Think of the blessings that surround you
not the ones that are denied
Think of the virtues of your friendships
not the weak and faulty side
Think of the gains you've made
not the losses you've incurred
Think of the days of health and pleasure
not the days of woe and pain
Think of the days alive with sunshine
not the dismal days of rain
Think of the hopes that lie before you
not the waste that lies behind
Think of the treasures you have gathered
not the ones you've failed to find
Think of the service you may render
not of serving self alone
Think of the happiness of others
and in this you will find your own
by Robert Farley

It's good to be back blogging

2009-01-17T11:31:00.002Z

It feels good to start blogging again. Like a release.

And the week looked up too. Hope it is on the way up.

Reflection

2009-01-11T08:44:00.001Z

Only one post in 2008. Almost a year ago. I keep meaning to update the blog but for one reason or another, decided not to. Laziness was a factor, but not the only one. It has been a year of changes and a year of settling down. Or at least trying to.

It has been fab being in the same place as B. Being under the same roof, being able to see each other everyday, spending time together... Not forgetting our families and being able to spend a lot more time with them. And being able to meet up regularly with our good friends. In that respect it has been good.

But I still miss what I had previously. I try hard not to compare and reminisce. I try and try not be annoyed at the driving, at the traffic, the incompetence and arrogance of people, the small-mindedness, the tunnel vision, the inefficiencies.... I tell myself that God has a plan for me here. But I am weak. I can't help but compare at times.

I miss my financial independence. Everything I had before had been with my own money. Since starting work, I did not need to take any money from my parents, whether in form of rent, food, holidays, clothes. I was even able to contribute more to them. Now, working in a country where the spending power is abysmal, I find it difficult to attain my financial independence again despite being in an ok job. Buying things, especially those of decent quality, used to be a given before, but now it is a luxury. Lest you think I am a spoilt brat, I am not talking about the Guccis, Pradas, Choos, Ferragamos, Blahniks.... I am talking about decent quality chicken, beef, pork, pasta, salmon, ice-cream.... My grocery bills used to be in lower end of double-digits. Now, if I were to buy the same things here, it is in triple digits. And my salary hasn't increased in that proportion!

I miss my own space. My room, my share of the house, the garden. B's family have been superb in accepting me in the house - don't get me wrong. But I guess I have my own pride and I like my own space. Where I can decorate however I want. Where I can just laze. Just vegging out in front of the tele watching cookery programmes (yes, my social life is that fantastic but hey, I enjoy it!). Having friends over regularly to chat and cook.

I miss my colleagues and my teams. My seniors - whether directors or partners who gave me all the opportunities yet being there at the right time should I need them. All their professionalism. I miss all their focused determination and independence. Met deadlines. How they just got on and do their jobs. Well. Not thinking of excuses. Not using me as an emotional crutch. Wasting time talking about non-business stuff. I can take that - but at lunch or dinner or anywhere outside the office. For me, work is work. And if you need to relate a non-relevant story, relate it just once. Not five times. I can't pretend to be interested each time. I miss not being nagged to. I didn't realise it was possible. To be nagged to when it's not your fault, but because they just need to nag to someone instead of the person who has done wrong. Or perhaps they have, but they still want to nag. I used to try and help out and say 'Happy to discuss'. I stopped that. Because I realised that 'discuss' would include (a lot of) non-relevant stuff. Which takes up precious work time. I never though I would cringe at 'Let's discuss', 'Come, let me give you the background'. Fine if it really is just that, but ultimately it includes far too much history (mostly irrelevant for that time). And I stopped trying to help out in everything. Because I realised that sneakily, those added onto my responsibilities. I hate being punished in that way for trying to be efficient and enthusiastic.

I miss the friends I had. Yes, when I was over there, I missed my friends here. But over here, I miss my friends there too. Guess I just want everything. The regular catch-ups and jewellery making sessions with the crazy girls. The gossips with ex-colleagues. I miss being able to talk to colleagues outside work about non-work stuff. I really can't understand why people always need to talk about work outside work. It is soooooo .....boring! I miss the drives out to try different good restaurants. The weekend trips to take in the scenery and take photos. The butchers, the supermarkets, the high street shops....

I miss decent food and decent service. We are at the same restaurants or cafes every week simply because we have no other choice! To the point where yes, we like the food and the service, but we are bored! And it is a bit embarassing when they know your order even before you sit down!

I don't understand why people have to impart their opinions on your life all the time. What you should eat, which route you should take when you drive somewhere, where you should shop, where you should live, the house you should buy. Usually, people provide suggestions on where they have been which they thought was good. But here, everyone insists that their favourite restaurant is the best, or that this route is the fastest. All these, already subjective discussions, are not aided by the issue that this country is so fickle and disorganised.

I don't like how one has to drop names to get service. And that they are proud of it too! I hate to have to say I'm so-and-so just so I get seated first, or get the better table, or get better rates. I think if one has to do that, it already suggests bad service in my books. Because they can't provide the same efficient and good service to everyone. Names are also dropped to show association. Why? Who cares if you know so-and-so lives in that house, or drives that type of car, or shops there? And these 'names' dropped, are not even big in the global scheme of things.

I miss my church. But I am glad I found one that we have settled in temporarily.

I miss proper driving. I was taught defensive driving and how to drive by assuming others are stupid. But I never thought I'd have to use it. Oh boy, this is one place that those definitely come in handy.

I miss organisation, structure and non-corruption (if there is such a word). Where things are properly laid out. Where you know where the information is written. Not being passed from one to another and at the end, you still don't get the information you are looking for.

How terrible to start off 2009 with a post like this. But these were feelings I had in 2008 which I tried to push away. I hope 2009 will be a better year. I hope we can settle down more. There are things that cannot be changed. But I hope that I can make the most of things.

Sometimes these things happen...

2008-01-16T10:50:00.000Z

It is not what we want...
We may not know why it happens...
We may not understand why it should happen...
Timing is wrong...
We look at all sorts of potential reasons - some selfless, some selfish...
But whatever the reason, it happened...
Look ahead
Keep smiling
Keep your chin up
Take comfort in God's plans

Happy Birthday Yen

2007-12-20T14:47:00.000Z

So many decisions, so much uncertainty

2007-10-18T22:48:00.001+01:00

"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." Proverbs 16:3

I'm holding onto this so much and trusting that Lord will guide me to what's right. There is a bit of uncertainty for me at the moment, but I pray that His Hand is over the decision making process. I also pray that I will accept the decision and make the most of it.

We can make it work. With His grace.

I wish...

2007-10-09T22:24:00.000+01:00

I wish...

... I am a lot of things I am not - in behaviour, attitude, skills and features.
... I am not a lot of things I am - in behaviour, attitude, skills and features.

I am not perfect. No where near. I know that.

But who am I is who God designed. For that I feel blessed. Yes, I have a lot of flaws but slowly and with God's grace, am learning and applying the wisdom in Proverbs. Bear with me.

Forever

2007-09-30T21:56:00.000+01:00

Give thanks to the Lord
Our God and King
His love endures forever
For He is good, He is above all things
His love endures forever
Sing praise, sing praise
With a mighty hand
and outstretched arm
His love endures forever
For the life that's been reborn
His love endures forever
Sing praise, sing praise
Sing praise, sing praise

Yeah
Forever God is faithful
Forever God is strong
Forever God is with us
Forever
Forever

From the rising to the setting sun
His love endures forever
By the grace of God
We will carry on
His love endures forever
Sing praise, sing praise
Sing praise, sing praise
Yeah
Forever God is faithful
Forever God is strong
Forever God is with us
Forever
Forever
Forever God is faithful
Forever God is strong
Forever God is with us
Forever
Forever
Forever

His love endures forever
His love endures forever
His love endures forever
Forever
Sing praise, sing praise
Sing praise, sing praise
Yeah
Forever you are faithful
Forever you are strong
Foerver you are with us
Forever
And ever
Yeah

Forever you are faithful
Forever you are strong
Forever you are with us
Forever
Forever
You are God.....
Forever
And ever and ever ....

- Chris Tomlin

Busy Half-Week

2007-09-30T19:26:00.000+01:00

Busy busy week at the start, thankfully with non-work stuff!

It was musical night on Monday, with a trip to Lord of the Rings. And yes, it was just as long as the movie. I'm glad I went to watch it but I don't think it's one I'll rave on about. Casting was very very poor. Aragorn didn't portray himself as authoritative, Boromir didn't come across as being very courageous, Legolas wasn't a dainty elf (not even blonde as per movie and book!), Frodo seemed old. The sets were very cleverly done, I must say. I expected more singing and dancing in the spirit of musicals. I don't know if it's a good or bad thing that there weren't more of those.

On Tuesday, met up with Jen and Phong on honeymoon:
And it was Best of the Best 2007 gala on Wednesday. For whatever reason, I wasn't looking forward to it but was very pleased I went in the end. We didn't win the big prize, but cliche-d as it sounds, I guess it was good enough to get a nomination. It was certainly an impressive affair. The photos don't do them justice as I took them when the areas weren't occupied:

Group of 8 drummers starting the event

One of the after-dinner areas in Alice-in-Wonderland style

Main hall after the event

The weekend!!!!

2007-09-08T09:25:00.000+01:00

Yippee....it's the weekend! I've been looking forward to this since....well, Tuesday morning. Not that I've got anything special planned this weekend. Just being able to relax and not think about work, evolving deadlines and different priorities.... I still can't place my finger on why I wasn't motivated or enthusiastic at all this week. Nothing bad happened. Just the normal routine and challenges of work. Something I used to be quite enthused about but this week, I just wanted it to go away....

Whatever it was, I'm so glad it's the weekend! Regardless of whatever week I had, B had a worse week. 6-7 hours sleep over 48 hours as he prepared all his cases for exam presentation next week. I felt bad that I was asleep before he was, given it was midnite where I am and he is 7 hours ahead. Oh well, I think he's even more pleased it's the weekend, and will be even happier when the exam presentation's over on Tuesday. Praying hard for him!

Photo Upload

2007-09-02T22:38:00.000+01:00

My desktop's finally up and running after the house move. So photos have now been uploaded!

Camping in Wales

Sailing Challenge 2007

Cork

Spoon by Alain Ducasse

Mirabelle

Livea

B's 29th

2007-08-22T21:46:00.000+01:00

For Jolly

2007-08-21T21:56:00.000+01:00

Livea's pictures from Aug 2007

Getting the gift of the gab

2007-07-28T23:26:00.000+01:00

If only it was as easy as kissing the Blarney stone at Blarney Castle! I certainly don't feel blessed with any eloquence since......!

It's different now

2007-07-12T20:19:00.000+01:00

I withdrew from the Leadership Programme. The leadership journey started fantastically well. Learnt so much. Was invested in tremendously. Was honoured to meet inspirational people and not just from the corporate world either. Sharing the journey with my peers who are so different yet with the same ambition in mind, who encouraged and motivated me along the way. They showed me the different flavours of leadership and a peek into what leadership in the future looks like.

So why this decision? Selfish as it sounds, I think I have grown as much as I can from this journey. As much as I enjoyed it, I found that the opportunities I have been given were because of me. Not because of the Leadership Programme badge. The things I enjoyed about the programme can be enjoyed regardless of whether I'm on the programme. Various other factors which I won't go into here. In the various unsettlements, I also felt I was not able to contribute as much to the leadership program. Importantly though, I looked at my priorities in life and decided it was the right thing to do now.

It's different now. Career was and in a way, still is important to me. But I realise it shouldn't occupy the huge chunk in my life that it used to. (Actually still does, but I'm working on it...!) Most times, I am my own worst enemy but I am happy that in the past few years, I have proved to myself that I am able to achieve this if I want to. At this point in time, it's not my number one priority.

I still want to do an excellent job. I will continue this journey in my own time and my own way with the continued support of others. The Leadership Programme is one way but not necessarily the only way. With changing priorities, the end goal may not be the same as when I first started out on the journey, but it's ok. I won't be stressed about that anymore.

I realise that there's nothing wrong with just doing your job well. Like my Partner said a few months ago when I voiced my unsettlement, it's ok not to reach for the stars all the time.

It took me nine months to come to this decision. The umming and arring right even when I voiced my decision flew out the window with the great swoosh of relief I felt when I got agreement. There are more decisions to make, on a larger scale....if this took nine months, I wonder how long those would take???

Taking to the seas

2007-07-09T23:16:00.000+01:00

So year after year, I intended to join our firm's Sailing Challenge. And year after year, I thought-about-joining-then-forgot-to-join. Until this year. And what fun it was! I knew and still know zilch about sailing but thanks to a great team and fantastic skipper, we still placed 10th in the race. Despite messing up on the first race with the wrong strategy. (Something about staying closer to the shore to take advantage of the tide? Beats me!).

Anyway, I had a go at the helm in safer waters (and not during the race or we would have been placed in the 30s!). Otherwise, my tiny contributions were clambering over side to side during tacks (and I have 12 bruises on my knees to show for it), gybes, bear-aways and heels. Oh, and I got to help with the hoist spinnaker during the Fun Race. Big drama there when the spinnaker got caught and twisted (strangely enough, it was not my fault). In the process of 'untwisting' it, a team member was nearly thrown overboard as the wind decided to pick up at that very point (when frustratingly, it was light wind all the way till then!). That was definitely the biggest panic moment. Coming a close second was the unexpected gybe a few mins before when I was underneath the main sail! Never before have I reacted so quickly in my life! So we lost 2nd position to drop out of the race altogether whilst the spinnaker was untangled.

Cramped living quarters for 2 nights... But the sailing experience... Also, just having leisurely breakfasts and drinks onboard whilst basking in the sun (with major SPF30 slapped on before and sunnies perpetually on!) was oh-so-lovely! Such is the life.....

Docking at the pontoon on the first night

Sail up and ready for the race!

Team getting ready for the regatta dinner on the second day

Regatta dinner

Continuing drinks onboard after Regatta dinner

The other Brizzle boat during Fun Race on third day

Spinnaker up! A few minutes before it twisted and panic began!

Some pics from Berlin

2007-06-26T23:36:00.000+01:00

Protected 'graffiti' on East Side Gallery

Berliner Dom at night
In the middle of the Jewish Memorial
Trying an artsy shot in the apartment building

Guten Tag

2007-06-23T12:49:00.000+01:00

Well, not really... I must have brought the British weather over with me to Berlin. Sightseeing has been ruined on more than one day because of the rain. Not too bad for me, I guess, as I've been to Berlin before and so the rain's been a good excuse for me to stay in the flat and relax (and update blog!).

As I write, it has just stopped raining so I will take my chance and venture out umbrella-less for another attempt at photo taking!

Berliner Dom

Brandenburg Tor

Still here...

2007-06-22T12:12:00.000+01:00

Ok, time for excuses for the long absence. The house move has been exciting but has also meant no Internet connection till now and my needing to lend what lil bit I can to stripping wall paper/painting/moving stuff etc. I'm still trying to find my feet in the current project I'm in, whilst making sure it's not so obvious to others! And in a fit of proactiveness, I also volunteered for all sorts - leading training, managing other engagements, camping etc which has not helped at all!

Anyway, you probably didn't buy any of the excuses, so here are some pics to divert your attention for now... :)

Some pics of the house move:
Idris and Bri moving the sofa....
Our make-shift storage room.
Idris and Bri in front of the dodgy-rollercoaster-type van. Highly recommended to lend some much needed excitement and nail-biting experience to any move.
And here are some pics from my two-day camping trip with Debbie and Helen in mid-Wales.

Setting out our camps before going for our walk.The sheepdogs here have it easy - they get their own chauffeur! (Who was the first person we saw in 3 hours since starting the walk!)
Our sleeping quarters for the night. Surprisingly, the first 8-hour sleep I had in a month!
Part 1 of our two-course breakfast

Bye bye Ted

2007-05-28T10:57:00.000+01:00

After a week of uncertainty about whether we were going to move, we've finally moved abode!! A rather dramatic week of will we or won't we. It would have fitted nicely into Location, Location or Property Chain with all the stress, changes in decision etc! Needed to return from London to pack and then head off back to London the next day. A real late night of packing. 2 hours of sleep. But it's now done. Woo-hoo!

So the Ted is no more (well for us anyway). Moved into HRW which is in all sorts of states at the moment. Boxes everywhere - some packed some unpacked. Wallpaper being stripped. A miniature walk-in wardrobe since we're waiting for proper wardrobes. It's great! Hard work (mainly by Bri - haha - I lend moral support now and then) but we'll get there!

Look out for pictures here soon!

2007 Spring Ball

2007-05-20T19:14:00.000+01:00

Click here for photos taken at our Spring Ball on 28 April 2007

The last few standing at end of night:

New recipes

2007-05-19T18:14:00.000+01:00

Tried out new recipes when Dan and Beth came round for dinner.

Starter: Bri's smoked haddock risotto with poached egg and pancetta

Main: Roasted rack of lamb with asparagus and baked potato

Dessert: Bri's cheesecake

Wicklow Mountains National Park

2007-05-08T22:29:00.000+01:00

What better way to spend a day than 5 hours of walking through the mountains (hills?) enjoying fresh air, the good weather and good company. Ok, so my knees were hurting from my first long-walk/hike, but roll on next time!

Photos of our trip to Wicklow Mountains National Park here.

Other comings and goings for March/April

2007-04-27T22:50:00.000+01:00

Ok, some over due photos!

A day trip to London - visited Borough Market, went on London Eye (for the 3rd time), met up with some ex-MCers. Photos (mostly Noel's) here.

Snapping away at Oakley Court Hotel, Windsor:

Seeing the wonders of Lego blocks.
Chilling out in Bham, captured on camera by Gaz.

When it's not possible

2007-04-25T20:04:00.000+01:00

When others tell you it's not possible. Because it's just not how things are done. Have to think about culture and what other people want. It is yours. But think about the rest.

It's not possible. Too many things involved. Loved ones will be offended. So it's not yours despite what is said.

But you see it being done by others. Successfully. And then you wonder why you can't have it.

Is it selfish to want it? Is it arrogance? Or is it because you don't deserve it? Maybe you're not special enough to have it. Then the guilt of even thinking like this. That this is not the central point. Think big picture and all.

There are regrets whichever option. Whatever is chosen. There will be lookbacks of if only....

Perhaps such is life. But how then do people live with no regrets?

I still feel ok

2007-04-12T22:15:00.000+01:00

It's 10.15pm. I have only had two cups of tea and a biscuit since 7am. Back to back meetings, discussions, phone calls, emails since. It was going to be a nice busy week but it turned manic late on Tuesday because of a last minute call to support a proposal. Lots of missed deadlines as a result. Weekend work is a definite now. But I strangely still feel ok. Hmmm.... I do feel as if something is about to hit me though and I'm beginning to worry what that is.

Villa v Wigan

2007-04-10T22:14:00.001+01:00

My first football game. Easter Monday. Aston Villa v Wigan. A rather disappointing 1-1 results but a thoroughly enjoyable experience nonetheless. Thanks for organising, Gaz!!!

More photos from the game here...

Another Foodie Post

2007-04-09T09:46:00.000+01:00

This time at namesake's restaurant. The Michelin-one-starred restaurant in Birmingham was ok-ish. Food was good. Service not so. A good dinner mainly because of excellent company. :)

Photos of food at Jessica's here...

Last of the Three

2007-04-06T11:31:00.000+01:00

A visit to the last 3-Michelin star UK establishment we have yet to try for a belated Valentine's Day. Service at Waterside Inn was exceptional. Started from the moment we arrived at the end of Ferry Road and our car was parked for us. Alain Roux made the effort to speak to every customer during dinner. Don't remember Heston Blumenthal or Gordon Ramsay doing that! The food? Almost flawless - only flaws were due to a pomelo based dessert (I don't like pomelos) and a weird starter B had which seemed like an experiment of snails and raviolis. All in all though, I really enjoyed the meal and the experience. Definitely one to recommend.

More Waterside Inn photos via this link.

Snow in March?

2007-03-18T22:27:00.000Z

My only chance at breaking a world record...

2007-03-17T17:53:00.000Z

And we did it!

Ok, so it was for biggest dance class ever but hey, it's the only chance I ever have at even midly breaking a world record. So we vined, hitched, stepped, kicked and clapped to the Comic Relief Line Dancing Song (creative or what?) on Friday 16 March 2007. For 10mins. All in name of Comic Relief Red Nose Day which made it even better.

Click this link for a clip of the news bulletin from BBC Midlands.

Several more Comic Relief photos via this link.

Waiting to start the line dance...

Just in case you were wondering, this isn't my typical office attire - it was "Big Wild West" theme in the office in aid of Comic Relief so I had to do my part (of course!)

Spot difference in the nose?

World record broken!!!!

For One More Day

2007-03-04T22:01:00.000Z

If you could change something you did, what would it be? This book provoked this thought through the eyes of Chick Benetto, a retired baseball player. Perhaps an all too familiar background of the child suffering from the effects of the father walking out on the family, right through to adulthood. Mitch Albom used that as the backdrop but cleverly weaved in past and present into the story.

Chick's mother, Posey, is undoubtedly the driving force behind her son. Struggling with his dad's influence over his decisions on baseball, Chick continued to strive for his dad's approval. Even if that meant going against his mom who had always been there for him rather than his dad who seemed to appear only twice in 30 years. But his mom understood. She showed the real power of maternal love. She came back in spirit to Chick on the day he tried to end his life after his daughter stopped contact with him because of his alcoholism and depression. Posey showed him the many ways she loved him and made him reflect on how she had influenced his life.

Those who have often thought "I wonder what would happen if...." should read this book. Definitely a great well-thought present from a fab sis. ;)

On the way to rock n roll....

2007-02-25T20:38:00.000Z

Or maybe just to master the basic chords first....

Ushering in the Year of the Pig with

2007-02-24T23:28:00.000Z

A feast....
Cranium with some dodgy antics from Bri and Dan...
A fashion show (in an attempt to promote the culture?)...

And more in line with tradition...dragon and lion dances...

One of many blessings....

2007-02-18T21:36:00.000Z

I am blessed to have such supportive colleagues and bosses to shape my career. After a few months of unsettlement, I was honest assessing myself at the recent appraisal. I expected my Partner, whom I admire for her (exceptionally) high standards and fairness, to sigh with relief that I had brought up the flaws instead of her having to bring me back to reality. I was surprised (and rather reassured) when she actually offered excuses on my behalf. Perhaps stupidly, I was honest and told her I really shouldn't use those excuses. She suggested that it is ok for now but they would expect me to go back to maintaining high standards, especially being on the leadership programme (and apparently the normal 'meets high expectations' are not enough!).

Another Partner took time out at the end of a very late day to reassure me (news do travel fast) that I should sometimes just let things happen. That it's ok to relax for a bit, as long as it's not forever, instead of continuously reaching for the stars. That I really shouldn't try and project manage my life to the nth degree in the way I manage work. That I shouldn't review my life with the microscope in which I review work. Perhaps he is right. It is worse when you're in a trough to then realise how disappointed you are in yourself, thus making the situation even worse.

I'm glad I'm now out of the 'unsettlement' and stopped feeling disappointed in myself. The silver lining in this was knowing that there are people at the top who genuinely (or at least seem to) care. It is so encouraging. I don't think I can ask for more.

Project Managing One's Life

2007-02-18T20:52:00.000Z

Am I glad I don't have to review my life in project mode. Well, I guess I could but that probably wouldn't make a happy review. If I had to map my life on a project plan, there would be so many red dots on the RAG status.

Some goals and ambitions are two years late due to personal choices. Instead of persisting with one of my goals, I chose to put it on hold to pursue a backup option. It was upsetting initially when the backup option became more of a reality however this option has been the best! It opened up so many opportunities. Introduced me to new prospects and great people. Ironically, whilst I may be late in delivering the main objective, I have been early in achieving milestones in the backup option. Looking back, I am glad for how things have turned out. And I know this can only be His doing.

My project plan would have been such a mess with ever-changing deliverables, milestones and stakeholders. I'm glad that He is my life project manager. I still look to achieve my goals and ambitions but there are other priorities. I now accept that some will not be achievable. But I look at the alternatives that would deliver so much more. Because I now know that it's not really my life project plan, but His plan for me. And it makes it all the more exciting knowing that this is in His hands and will be for His glory!

Mr Snowman 24 hours later

2007-02-10T00:04:00.000Z

Still going strong with a fresh blanket of snow piling some on his hat and his nose falling off.

Ugly

2007-02-09T23:30:00.000Z

People who attribute bad attitude solely to one's upbringing should read this book. Constance Briscoe recounts her childhood - one filled with physical and mental abuse by her mother. Every Christmas, she received the same two presents - her doll (which her mother took from her before Xmas) and a spinning top. She gratefully receives them. In her early teens, she took a part time job on Saturday, which when her mother found out, took to mean that she could afford to pay rent for staying in the house. And stopped providing her with food, gas and electricity. Soon, she was unable to support herself so took on two other jobs to supplement her income to allow her to eat (occasionally) and have sufficient gas and electricty to be able to do her homework. All this while she was still going to school full time. She was constantly beaten and pinched by her mother. Referred to as Ugly, Pissabed (because she wet her bed until she reached her teens and was no longer under the control of her mother) and made to feel guilty for being born in the first place, Constance lost her hair because of the stress and went through an operation to remove lumps from her breasts (when she was 12) which were initially thought to be cancer but turned out to be caused by her mother's pinching.

So did Constance sit back, lament on her pitiful upbringing and hold out her hand to get benefits? No. She was ambitious and studied hard at school so she can realise her dream to become a barrister. For most of her teenage years, she supported herself through her multiple jobs to pay rent, food and bills. She put herself through university, despite her mother's attempt to sabotage that by tearing up her grant form which led to a year's delay to enter university. But she did it by working the extra year to get enough money to declare herself self-sufficient on the grant form.

Constance showed that persistence, ambition, hope and hard work can bring success even in the toughest conditions. And who had the last laugh? It ain't her mother, that's for sure. Constance became one of the first female black judges in UK. How about that for success?

I love snow!!!!

2007-02-08T23:44:00.000Z

Woke up this morning to a white surroundings! Lovely lovely lovely! And it continued snowing throughout the day! Only downside was having to be in work while watching the snow fall....

View from my wing mirror.

Enjoying a lunchtime snowball fight.

Mr Snowman.

Jo making a snow angel.

27th Bday

2007-02-03T23:51:00.000Z

Pressies!

Malaysia - Dec 2006

2007-01-28T00:40:00.000Z

Was honoured to be able to share in Jen and Phong's big day on 29 December 2006...

Spent some time with family and friends...

God Accepts All

2007-01-21T22:16:00.000Z

God's grace is extended to the animal kingdom... see the pictures here!

Almost Blown Away

2007-01-21T10:04:00.000Z

Was in Canary Wharf for a meeting on Thursday; a day when 70 - 80mph winds were raging across Britain. Thought I'd be economical and take the tube to Canary Wharf. Exited the train station and was stunned for a couple of seconds at the strength of the wind. I decided to brave it and cross the road to Smollenskys to ask for directions to the client's building. It seemed that the client was just up the road. Thinking it would be rather stupid if I were to get a cab to up the road, I thought it would be ok to walk there. Shouldn't be more than a 2 minute walk at most.

A strong gust of wind greeted when I walked out of Smollenskys. So much so that I had to grab onto the nearest lamp post. My cabin luggage flew about 15cms off the ground for about 10 seconds. It was almost funny. I say 'amost' because it was funny for about one minute, but not 10 minutes later when I found myself still hanging onto the lamp post. I was getting frustrated. The winds didn't stop long enough for me to let go, gain confidence and walk a few steps away. Oh, and I could see people being blown over as they tried to resume their journeys. A woman a few feet away from me was blown over and I think she was unconscious as security and paramedics tried to shelter her from the wind. I guess it would have been a comical scene to view from one of the many skyscrapers at the Wharf. Alas, I wasn't one of them.

The men waiting in Smollenskys found me quite entertaining, though - hanging onto the lamp post with my luggage and in fact, my body veering away in the direction of the wind. My faith in gentlemanly behaviour was slightly redeemed when a nice gentleman approached me not long after to ask if I was ok and then gave me his arm to hold onto as he walked me to my client. Isn't that nice? I was so thankful to him as otherwise, I'm not sure how much longer I could hold onto the lamp post for.

This would sound rather dramatic and funny if it's not for my arms still aching the next two days!

Spiritual MOT

2007-01-14T22:25:00.001Z

A weekend to focus on Him. Look at whether we have grown in Him, and how much. A spiritual MOT. It's amazing to look back in the last year and realise that we have indeed grown with Him. Maybe not as much as I would have liked but His grace has always been here. We made spiritual resolutions for this year - so we can pray for each other but also as a homegroup, for accountability too...

We also took time out for a walk in Chatsworth - what gorgeous scenery! Also not forgetting the annual homegroup traditions of murder mystery and the Mafia game!

The majestic Chatsworth House

Dorothy (of Wizard of Oz), Robin Hood, Alice (of Alice in Wonderland) and Red Riding Hood.

Cinderella, Snow White and Goldilocks.

Snow White, The Wizard (of Wizard of Oz) and Dracula.

Derwent House transformed into a library - the crime scene.

Pictures of the murder mystery and idyllic Peak District can be found here. More photos will be uploaded later as I get them from the rest....

Is ignorance bliss?

2007-01-04T06:35:00.000Z

Is it really true? Is it better not to know much at all? Because if you know too much, you can't ignore it, try as hard as you may. Good or bad, it influences your outlook on someone, some place, anything...

Superstitions, other people's opinions, the real faces of people... Changes your perspective... The person you thought was your friend turns out to have a hidden agenda... A superstitious tradition that makes you think twice about doing something that would have been normal 30 seconds before... Reading medical articles and ending up convinced that you have the 15-million-to-one disease...

Perhaps ignorance is bliss after all. No hurt. Just happy in one's own thoughts. No need to worry about others' opinions, comments, thoughts...

I will just crawl back under the shell and be content with ignorance...

Message to Myself

2006-12-30T03:46:00.000Z

I chose to recite "In the Arena" by Theodore Roosevelt for my solo piece at Fortune Theatre. Feedback was useful, one of which was that I should read this poem more to myself. So here it is to share with all of you...

In the Arena

It is not the critic who counts;

not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles,

or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,

whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood;

who strives valiantly;

who errs,

comes up short again and again,

because there is no effort without error and shortcoming;

but who does actually strive to do the deeds;

who knows the great enthusiasms,

the great devotions;

who spends himself in a worthy cause;

who at the best knows in the end

the triumph of high achievement,

and who at the worst, if he fails,

at least fails while daring greatly,

so that his place shall never be with those

cold and timid souls

who neither know victory nor defeat.

-Theodore Roosevelt

Lights Camera Action! Performing on the West End

2006-12-18T07:56:00.000Z

One time only - "Opportunity Way" cast performing a tailored version of Aladdin on a West End stage...
Cast (l-r): Nicola, Ellie, Nick DJ, Zahir, self, Ryan, Simon, Nick S, Iestyn and Marcus.

with our 'coaches' Nigel and Barbara (and my all-important star cushion).

.....and after that, I can tick off stage actress as yet another job I definitely should NOT go into! Was good fun though....

Thank you Fortune Theatre, for having me.

Don't wanna hear myself think....

2006-12-11T06:59:00.000Z

On Friday, I had a real TGIF (not the restaurant) day. By Sunday night though, I was glad the weekend was over. Won't go into details here because I'll just get all worked up again.

I just don't want to hear myself think. Haven't felt like this in a good few years but my own thoughts will just make me feel worse. Working with iPod on full blast in the office so I can drown out my thoughts. Anti-social? Maybe. Normally wouldn't recommend this tactic because it's just delaying the root of the problem. But I can't be bothered anymore. Talking about it may help, but I don't want to deal with the decisions and consequences right now. Enough on my plate. Just want to keep my head down, do my work and take my break.

Day in Nuneaton

2006-12-04T21:36:00.000Z

Enjoying the peace and serenity of rural England...

More photos on Nuneaton link on the left.

Aston Hall by Candlelight

2006-12-03T00:12:00.000Z

Restored to its glory and bathed in candlelight...

Actors in costumes going about 17th century Christmas festivities.

All photos via this link.

Is it only Tuesday?

2006-11-28T22:44:00.000Z

Can't believe it's only Tuesday. *Sigh* Three more days to the weekend.

Two days; enough time for two assignments go pear-shaped. That will teach me to complain about being bored. I really shouldn't complain about doing less than 40hours a week for the first time in 4 years, therefore really shouldn't feel so guilty for doing it for 3 consecutive weeks. I really should have enjoyed the quiet for a bit instead of complaining about the quiet and trying (far too successfully) to do more. Have I gone mad such that if I actually get to go home on time for a whole week, I feel like the pace is too slow?

And now, it has been a manic start to the week. Thanks to my inept sense of direction which got me completely lost on Monday. Thanks to a heavily-accented peer from a different department who is oblivious to her heavy accent, lightning-speed-speeches (because she doesn't seem to include punctuations in her speech) and constant interruption of others, which in combination means she is incomprehensible. Oh, plus she gets the basic process of how it should work totally wrong yet makes wild and uninformed assumptions to back them up and insists she's right. Not only incomprehensible but a nightmare to deal with too. Thanks to another job on a system not doing what it should (should get used to that by now, I guess!). Thanks to.... Stop stop stop

*Sigh* Enough ranting. Will shut up in future about quiet pace of work. But I know I can't. I get bored. Look on the bright side.....at least this incomprehensible and nightmarish person is (only) the second person in my five years with this firm whom I would like to steer clear of in future. Also, I now know the way to the client. And I have an enthusiastic team member to sort out the system not doing what it should do and get the evidence we need. And....it's only three more days to the weekend....

Hope it looks up over the next few days..... I doubt so though. Sigh. Three more days to weekend. (Do I sound like a broken record yet) Two more weekends to start of my Xmas holidays..... Not that anyone's counting......

Seeking Perfection

2006-11-26T15:21:00.000Z

I have an ideal situation in my head about everything. Then the pessimist in me makes me have a worst case scenario too, just so I won't be disappointed. Not sure where I heard this saying from, but it stuck with me throughout college, university and now work: "The higher your dreams, the bigger the disappointment". I'm ashamed to say that it had a hand in shaping my decisions since. I wouldn't say it held me back tremendously, but it helped stop me from reaching for the stars on several occasions.

I have been chasing The Ideal since I started working. Admittedly sometimes more enthusiastically than other times. But He listened and gave me many opportunities seen through ratings, promotions and recognition via the leadership programme. But now, I wonder if The Ideal through my eyes is right. As I read and continue learning His Word, I realise that it should be His Ideal. My life for Him, not myself. For His life was for us. For me, unworthy of His love yet receiving it all the same.

And so more and more, I commit my decisions to Him. For Him to guide me. I feel an inner peace. Yes, I may continue to chase dreams. But I know that He will help me do what's right. And more and more, He has shown me that He knows. He listens. He loves.

Keeping Faith

2006-11-23T22:26:00.001Z

In more ways than one...

The conflict in Jodi Picoult's book is about a child (Faith White) who sees God. Periphery links about whether this was the child's way of coping with her parents' separation, if God really exists and religion. This book didn't grab me in the way the other Picoult books did. I don't know if it's because I read it right after The Pact and her writing style did not hugely vary.

Whilst the book didn't impress me from a style perspective, it addressed an interesting concept. The scepticism that continues about God. In the preface, Jodi Picoult wrote that whilst she was writing and researching, she realised that people were willing to talk about anything but not about God. I realised how true that was. I don't know how much segments of her book were based on real life, but I would not be surprised if these were events that people who want to talk about God encounter. People who see yet continue to question. Those who say 'I will believe when the time is right' and not realising that it's God who decides when the time is right, not you. Those who continually ask for scientific evidence for His existence. Those who prefer to believe in the myths and rumours against Him rather than believe in the truth. Because it's easier. Because they can continue to live life according to their own rules instead of acknowledging Him.

As I read His Word, I have always wondered whether people would stop questioning had they been witnesses when He healed the incurables and saved the doomed. Maybe they would be believers if they were witnesses to the miracles documented by Matthew, Mark, John and Luke. Maybe they would then listen. Reading Keeping Faith made me doubt this would happen. Sceptics would remain sceptics until He chooses to soften their hearts.

....so, Keeping Faith - not just the child but our beliefs too....

Nearly Istanbul...

2006-11-15T21:51:00.000Z

Got a call yesterday. Assignment in Istanbul next week. Was excited. Have not been to Turkey before. Would love to go. Although I must admit, it's not one of the top five on my 'must-see' places list. But if I get to go expenses paid, why not?

Alas, thanks to my passport originating from a country which require visas to most countries - rightly or wrongly would be subject of different discussion, this was filed into the 'nearly been' place instead of 'will be going...there...has been' place. Visa takes 20 days. Which means I can't go next week. Well, not legally anyways but that's not a risk I dare take. My colleagues' questions on why I continue to hold this passport become more and more valid (not just with travel episodes but general sentiments I make too). To add to list of decisions to make.

*Sigh*

There is a hope so sure

2006-11-12T23:01:00.001Z

There is a hope so sure
A promise so secure
The mystery of God
At last made known
Treasures so vast appear
All wisdom, knowledge here
It’s Christ in us
The hope of glory!

And the life that I now live
No longer is my own
Jesus lives in me
The hope of glory
And each day I live
No longer is my own
Jesus lives in me
The hope of glory

There is a life so true
A life of love so pure
For all our sin
A perfect sacrifice
And when that life was nailed
On cruel cross impaled
Our sinful flesh
With him was crucified

There is a life so strong
That a whole world of wrong
And all the powers of hell
Could not defeat
For Jesus rose again
And if we died with him
With him we’ll rise
To share his endless life

The Pact

2006-11-11T23:02:00.001Z

She did it again. Another fab book from Jodi Picoult. Some have said that her books are all the same. Perhaps. But I left enough of a gap between the books to enjoy her writing all over again.

The Pact is a touching story about middle class families who seem to have it all. Two teenagers who seem on the outside, to be perfect for each other and who have it all in this world. Cut short by a suicide. It showed that having it all is not enough.

You may think you know someone, but do you really? The image of Emily Gold, one half of the couple, is put together through the eyes of others. Which made me realise that one's identity is really based on others' opinions.

Another interesting aspect of the book was the view of truth. Do we always know the truth? Or do we base the truth purely on facts only? Is that the truth? Or is it interpretation of the evidence, which is subjective?

Nottingham

2006-11-05T22:29:00.001Z

Saturday in Nottingham - strolling through Sherwood Forest. In Robin Hood's land, what better way to spend an afternoon than trying your hand at archery?

More pics here....

Diary of Ma Yen

2006-10-30T07:44:00.000Z

A simple story. A simple wish. The power of the pen never shown seen so strongly before. If not for her diaries, her wish would not have reached Pierre Haski. Simple writings, yet so touching. The wish, not unreasonable in this day and age, to continue studying (when most teens would probably want to skip school). Edited by Pierre Haski to provide some context, it touched me that education and (near) equal rights that we take for granted here, are unreachables in some parts of the world. Where your gender dictates your right to education and progress in the world.

Thanks to Pierre Haski, Ma Yen had the chance to continue studying. Thanks to her diaries, other girls her age in her province had the chance to continue studying.

The power of the pen should not be underestimated.

A Weekend in Dublin

2006-10-08T23:09:00.000+01:00

Spent last weekend in Dublin with colleagues from the London project. Turned out to be a tiring weekend and still, I was one of the early birds on Friday night (Saturday morning?) - leaving at about 2.30am. Can't stay up till the wee hours of the morning anymore.

Did the usual touristy things - Trinity College, St Stephens Green, Temple Bar, Iveagh Gardens, Ha'penny bridge, Christchurch Cathedral, St Patrick's Cathedral.... Took the chance to catch up with colleagues - past (JC + family), soon-to-be-past (current London project colleagues) and current. Ate out loads. Enjoyed the fickle Irish weather. Saw Jo and was the designated 'unpacker'. :)

Oh, and guess who we saw whilst we were in Trinity? The one-and-only Hoff!

Am going this weekend again - wonder which celeb we'll spot this time?

Gweilo

2006-09-23T10:57:00.000+01:00

Martin Booth narrated an excellent story of his upbringing in Hong Kong through Gweilo. Through reliving his adventures, reflections and thoughts, I thought the best message that came out was that the word 'home' means different things to different people.

Home is not necessarily where you are born. Home is where you choose to die. It may be where you grew up; or it may be where you choose to raise your own family. Perhaps it's where your family and friends are. Perhaps it's where you meet new family and friends. May be in the same state; or totally different ends of the earth. It could be where you grew up speaking the language. Or it can be where you are so captivated that you give up hours to learn how to speak the language the way the 'locals' do - so you can be one of them in time. It could be where you grew up with the local customs and know what every bow, wink, smile, smirk actually means. Or it could be where you still seek to understand the meaning of subtle differences in body language because you want to know and learn. A place where others look just like you. Or a place where your physical attributes are one of a kind. It could be where you are living now; it could be where you have set your heart on moving to in the future.

Home is your state of mind. It's where you feel comfortable. Regardless of the physical outlook. It's where you never stop being fascinated by the traditions and culture. It's where you recognise the flaws of the place yet love it all the more for that. It's where you want to live your dreams, hopes and ambitions of both personal and professional front.

It's where you know you belong....

It can only get better

2006-09-21T19:47:00.000+01:00

You hit a peak. Feel energised, joyful, happy, blessed, content. Then something changes and it starts going downhill. Maybe not the sharp descent. But a slow spiral. Fast or slow, things are different. Doubts creep in. Many questions go round in your head, never voiced as surely, they are silly thoughts. Chastise yourself for thinking such things. Try to pick yourself up. But try as hard as you might, you can't shake the doubts away. And it goes round in a circle.

What caused it? It could be something small, something big. A collection of small things. One big item. It does not matter. You are where you are. When you hit a peak, the pessimist would say it can only go down. It's how you deal with it that makes you different. And hey, things can only look up from now, surely? Glass half full situation?

Cooking Weekend

2006-09-17T10:10:00.000+01:00

It's been a while since I tried new recipes. And inspired by Becky's fish pie and Hosannah's cheesecake, I thought I'll try them out this weekend.

Fish pie turned out ok....

Will do the strawberry cheesecake differently next time. No more puree-ing the strawberries. May be healthy addition but it looks like hospital food (No offense meant to hospital kitchens, but you know what I mean...). Will stick to Delia's recipes in future. Try out chocolate cheesecake next....

When It's Not Mutual....

2006-09-13T20:05:00.000+01:00

Do you feel that sometimes things and feelings are not mutual? When you look forward to something a lot more than the other person is? When you have different expectations? Different priorities lead to disappointment of one? When your intentions are not returned the same way?

The hurt and disappointment if you had expected something more. Joy when you receive more than expected. Guilt when you realise that you could have done more.

If only one can turn back the clock. Realise the disappointment that is around the corner. Realise the good things/deeds right under one's nose and take time to appreciate them. To show appreciation. To suggest changes. Wished some words were never uttered. Wished certain thoughts were spoken. Hindsight is always 20/20. Live and learn.

Doggie Love

2006-09-08T19:09:00.001+01:00

Laughed and cried whilst reading Marley & Me by John Grogan. How beautifully John captured the tiny details of living with a rambunctious, playful yet lovable dog. Living with Marley came with many challenges but kudos to John and Jenny for loving Marley as he is. Just as he loved them for who they are.

If they wanted, John and Jenny had many reasons to rehome Marley. Chewing up anything and everything within sight, being expelled from obedience school, scratching the walls when there's thunder...the list goes on. But the Grogans stuck with him. Realised that he gave them so much more. Acknowledged the costs of the repairs but cheerfully accepted them as little compared to the companionship he gave them. I'm not sure many would have done the same.

It brought back many memories of dear Laddie and Fraulern, who were so much part of our family for almost a decade. I guess that was what brought the tears too as I felt with John and the Grogans when they had to bid farewell to Marley (this is not a spoiler for the book). Memories of them, joyous as they were, also reminds me that they are now no longer with us. They seemed to sense when I had exams and for that week, did not jump and bark when it was time for their afternoon walk. They wouldn't have let me off so easily all other times. Accusing barks at other times if I dared to be more than 2 hours late for their walk.

The love they so readily and completely gave. I am convinced that they could 'read' people. Laddie, for all his faithfulness and loyalty, was never as generous with his affection to those outside our family. Fraulern, on the other hand, would be friends with anyone. Yet there were occasions when she did not take to certain people although they tried lavishing her with food or attention. And her judgement was always proven right a few months later as the said person(s) betrayed our trust. Laddie, always camera shy; Fraulern, sensing a camera, would happily pose. Different personalities yet they loved each other so. Laddie would walk several paces in front, but turn back to make sure Fraulern is still nearby. Although he was scared of thunder, Laddie would go out searching for Fraulern if we hadn't brought her back after the walk. Fraulern, proud of her big brother, would seek his protection when she sees bigger dogs (not realising that Laddie has more sense than to square up to them!).

John Grogan showed that living with a dog is a two-way thing. I see many occasions when it was a one-way relationship; the dog always giving his/her all yet their master only playing with them when convenient (if at all). The Grogans really embraced the dog into their family life and I hope I will be able to do the same next time. John reflected how dogs love so well - limitless, forgiving, complete and without question. In one reflection, John surprised himself when he realised how Marley could be considered a mentor in how he lived life. I totally agree. Call me mad but I believe we can learn so much from dogs - not just in how they live their life but how they love people. I wish I can readily do the same.

Laddie and Fraulern, I miss you. It has been so many years yet I still smile when I think of your antics and there's still pain when I think that I can no longer give and share your affection and love. I'm sure you are happily wagging your tails in doggie heaven, where treats are plentiful (without the green veg ones you dislike and cleverly separate, Fraulern), vast fields to run in, rats to catch (Fraulern diligently made it her responsibility that our house be rat-free after seeing Laddie do it), golf balls to fetch (which Laddie taught himself whilst Daddy practised behind our house) and plenty of people to lavish you with attention.

What I Got Up to in Msia

2006-08-28T19:51:00.000+01:00

A lot.... Not very much... Depends on how you look at it... I gave myself certain tasks to accomplish whilst I was in Msia - mainly to do with the wedding preps. But of the four, only one was completed - well, even that was not fully completed. Anyway, the other three had circumstances beyond my control - waiting for date from Royal College of Surgeons was the main one.... I can't exactly call them up to bug them, can I?

Nevertheless, think I did quite a lot anyway.... All photos will be uploaded soon.... Here are some for now....

So, what I did do....

Spending time with family.... Here's one from our trip to the Kadazan longhouse (more on Sabah trip in post below)

My two youngest nieces....Our furrier family member (probably the most spoilt too!)

Spending time with friends.... Joanna and Yen weren't here but I did manage to meet up with them! (Joanna, send photo over?)
Going to the KL Aquarium - the most patriotic aquarium I ever visited, as you can see...Visited several hotels to narrow down choices for the wedding dinner venue. Here's B at KL Hilton.... (Also visited lots of fabric shops, wedding designers, tailors for the dresses - thanks mom and Jo for being so patient and enthusiastic throughout!)

Land Below the Wind

2006-08-27T23:42:00.000+01:00

Visit to a Kadazan longhouse.

Pose pose pose

5.30am view of Mount Kinabalu from Kundasang.

Tip of Borneo. We missed the sunset because we ran out of petrol (yes, believe it or not... this turned out to be a proper road trip!) but still enjoyed the views the next day.

Blast from the past?

Second oldest church...
A change from the concrete jungle of KL, London, Houston, Hong Kong, Tokyo...

White water rafting in Sabah

2006-08-21T07:17:00.000+01:00

What Jolly does, Livea does too

2006-08-13T04:38:00.000+01:00

Heads up....

Heads d0wn....

I actually drove this on the 'wrong' side of the road!

2006-08-13T04:33:00.000+01:00

I asked for a compact car and this was what I got....

Williams Waterwall

2006-07-31T04:01:00.000+01:00

A cool reprieve from the boiling temperatures at the Williams Waterwall, a 64-foot tall fountain in Houston Uptown. A supposed 11000 gallons of water flow every minute (on both sides of the wall).

When in Rome, do as the Romans do....

2006-07-29T04:33:00.000+01:00

And when you're in US, that means eating big portions....! Arrived safely in Houston on Tuesday night and since then, I have not finished my dinner once! The portions here are gigantic. I haven't had much of an appetite anyway, think lack of sleep is catching up with me, which is rather unfortunate as the steaks here are yum yum yum!

Went to Fogo de Chao yesterday. All you can eat salad and steak. Can you imagine? As if the US 'normal' portions aren't big enough! At Fogo de Chao, we were given a card which had red on one side and green on the other. You help yourself to the salad bar in the middle and when you're ready for some steak, you put your card to green. Waiters walk around with different cuts of meat and they'll approach you to see if you'd like the cut of meat they're carrying around after which they would slice it onto your plate. If your card is on the red side, they leave you alone. Quite cool.

Ribs being cooked

Oh, and the margueritas here are delicious too! A reminder from Saltgrass....

Today, for the first time, I rented a car in a foreign country by myself AND to drive on the 'wrong' side of the road too! I was so nervous. The gentleman at the rental agency must have thought I'd never driven before, with the basic questions I asked him to make sure the car operated the same way as my car back in UK, just the driving would be on the other side of the road. Thank goodness it was an automatic car too. One less thing to worry about. I managed to drive safely from downtown to the Galleria and then back again. Although I did get slightly lost coming back and making my way from one end of downtown to the other. Got honked at twice. Not too bad going, I think. Don't want to speak too soon though - we'll see how the next few days go! Staying away from those margueritas from now on!

Beauty in unexpected places

2006-07-23T22:26:00.000+01:00

There is a patch of land at the end of our garden where we dispose of cut grass. Whilst having dinner outside recently, I noticed that a rose had grown from that patch. We hadn't intentionally planted a rose plant there. It was supposed to be the place where we get rid of grass and weeds so that it'll turn to compose. We weren't expecting a lovely rose plant to grow!
Sounds cliched, but I thought it shows that beauty does arise in unexpected places even without the necessary nuturing care.

Which Mask to Wear?

2006-07-18T18:24:00.000+01:00

We have multiple personalities. I don't mean that in a clinical psychological sense. We have different variants of personalities we express to different people. I guess how varied they are would be dependent on each person. There's the Work-Me, Home-Me, Friend-Me, Best-Friend-Me, Sister-Me, Daughter-Me, Fiancee-Me, Customer-Me, Weekend-Me, Babysitter-Me, etc. Not hugely different personalities but some aspects are amplified more than others depending on the Me I am. Some people would have seen me in a combination of the above. Less than a handful would have seen me in all.

It's a bit like choosing masks to wear. Whilst getting ready for work, we don a suit (or relevant attire), put on sensible work shoes and pick up notes/laptop. This happens on the outside. On the inside, we mentally prepare by slipping the invisible Work-Mask over. This is not meant in deceitful terms. (Although that does occur in some circumstances, such as faking degrees/qualifications in order to land a job, two-timing your partner, etc). Donning the Work-Mask may mean being more assertive, less outspoken, more structured, whatever suits the job really. Most of the time, we consciously and subconsciously choose which personality to show others. We carefully choose the words to say, things to reveal and outfits to wear.

Which is our true self? Underneath it all, I believe our core is same throughout. It holds our core personality and values. However, as we grow up, we grow shells to suppress or emphasise certain values. As a child, you may have been one who actively spoke your mind. If you grew up in a culture where this was seen as rude and 'children should be seen but not heard', it is likely that you now have a shell that suppresses your opinionated self which you will only reveal to closest family and friends.

Is it right to have several masks? I think so. People need different outlets. I know a PA who is very organised, structured and well-prepared. When it comes to planning her own holiday, her husband does all the organising. Why doesn't she apply her strengths from her day job to her personal life? Well, she needs a break from all that organising. At the core of it, I believe she is still just as organised in her home life and if her husband wasn't good at organising it, she would likely take over and make sure it is done well. But she trusts and knows that her husband will sort it out well in advance. So her core values are there. However, if one is respectful of deadlines at school/work but always misses appointments/promises with family/friends, it would suggest to me that their underlying value is not one of respect but rather, self-centred. They want strangers to have high opinion of them but don't really care what their loved ones have to tolerate. This isn't right - priorities are wrong.

Sometimes we put on the masks to fit in with others. Our Work-Mask may be based on amplifying the qualities that others in the same company have. Our Home-Mask may be dependent on how we want our neighbours to view us.

You remember the watches that have different faces that you can put on to match whatever you're wearing? Or the mobile phone faces that can be changed? I think our personalities are the same. We just subconsciously change it sometimes to suit our 'audience'.

A trip to the Safari

2006-07-15T22:35:00.000+01:00

No, it wasn't one in Kenya or South Africa. One closer to home - the West Midlands Safari Park, with Bri, Zhu Shi and Zhu Xin.Giraffe visiting the cars.

Snacking time.

Some of the animals wandering the grounds of the Safari Park.

Bri and Zhu Shi

Me and Zhu Xin

Rock or pebble

2006-07-15T00:09:00.000+01:00

Should one stand as firm as a rock or should one allow oneself to be swept away by others? There is a fine balance between holding on to a strong opinion, yet being flexible enough to know when to allow others to influence oneself.

Why is it that in some circumstances, holding steadfastly to one's principles and opinions is seen as being 'difficult' whereas in other scenarios, the behaviour is respected? On the other hand, one who sways in opinions is seen as unreliable and having no opinions althugh there are times when that person is seen as being reasonable.

Why can't people just respect others' opinions without trying to impose theirs on others all the time? It may be difficult to be a rock and hold onto your beliefs and opinions (assuming they don't hurt others!) but it could provide an easier time later on. Others would know that they would need strong justifications to get your opinion changed. But it is difficult. Would you be seen as a rock in terms of an obstacle rather than dependable? Your reasonings are always challenged, you are mentally exhausted from having to explain yourself all the time - at work and at home. These range from explaining why initial efforts were abysmal thus requiring rework, to choices in shoes/clothes/flat/hotel. Why do people need to challenge for the sake of challenging? See the big picture. Would it make a difference to the world whether or not the challenge is accepted or rejected? If it doesn't, don't bother challenging. Don't ask one to justify wearing a blue top vs a black top. Does it matter?

Or would they just see you as being stubborn? Perhaps it would be better to be a pebble so it's easier to be swept away by the waves in whichever direction the winds dictate. There is no need to make any decisions; they are made by others for you. Is that the best way for accountability and responsibility to fall from your shoulders? When there is a strong opinion though, would people take you seriously or would they just disregard it as another belief that can be changed by the right person?

To be a rock or a pebble? Can you be both? Can you be a rock and a pebble? Or must you choose one?

SW19

2006-07-07T21:07:00.000+01:00

Strawberries n cream, Pimms... It must be Wimbledon! After a failed attempt last year to get into the grounds (we walked 15mins and still couldn't find the end of the queue), we decided to go in the second week this time. We trooped off to SW19 and hardly had to queue to get in or to get Court 1 tickets! (Queue for Centre Court tickets was even shorter!)

Even the queue cards were proper. Also given a guide on 'queueing etiquette'!

Gardens given a tennis look.

Ahhh - no Wimbledon experience is complete without strawberries and cream!

Left: Order of play

Right: Singles matches

"Henman's Hill" although Henman's already out!

Going into Court 1 for some entertainment! First up was M Bahrami and Gene Mayer vs Peter McNamara and Paul McNamee in the Gentlement's 45 & Over Doubles. Then on came 2001 Men's Wimbledon champion Goran Ivanisevic partnering Henri Leconte to play against Gary donnelly and 'Bobo' Zivojinovic in the Gentlemen's 35RR Doubles.

Antics on Court 1 were hilarious! I was in stitches most of the time. Bahrami, famous for his clowning around, frequently pulled faces at his opponents and threw mock tantrums. When they completed their match (which Bahrami and Mayer lost), we were getting ready to leave when the umpire announced the next match. With Ivanisevic, the 2001 Wimbledon champion and three times Wimbledon runner up, playing, there was no way we were going to miss this! A good decision too because it was a hoot!

Ivanisevic and Leconte came onto court with bandages covering their heads. When they took the bandages off, Bobo used the bandages to tie the poor umpire up. With the umpire stuck in the middle of the court, Leconte took to the umpire's chair and entertained the crowd with superstar-typical-announcement of "We love you". He then proceeded to get the umpire to toss the coin. Leconte called Heads, then without seeing the result of the toss, decides that it was Heads and he chose to serve. When the umpire was finally given his chair back, he duly declared instead that Bobo and Donnelly 'chose to receive'.

Throughout the game we were entertained with
... Leconte's random whistling. At one point, Ivanisevic joined him with Bobo 'conducting' the both of them
... Bobo having a 3 vs 1 match against his 'long'-suffering partner
... Ivanisevic swapping places with the ball girl whereby Bobo also hands his racquet to the linesman. The ball girl wins a point!
... Bobo pulling a chair onto the court, sits himself in it and plays the match from there. He actually won the point!
... Bobo and Ivanisevic going into the crowd when they heard giggling; Bobo proceeding to have a rally with Leconte from the stands
... Bobo swapping places with Leconte in order to partner Ivanisevic then stands there without attempting to hit the balls, therefore losing Ivanisevic's-Leconte's points!
... Ivanisevic showing some dazzling form that won him the Wimbledon title, with a 140mph serve and some well thought out shots
... Ivanisevic going to the sidelines to take pictures with the audience
... Leconte putting two tennis balls down his shirt and playing the set with Sharapova-like squeals
... Leconte having a 'spat' with Ivanisevic when he missed a ball, asking him "Are you with me or with them?". Leconte missed the next ball, after which Ivanisevic promptly returned the question very loudly
... Hearing an 'out' from the linesman, Bobo runs to his bag (all while the play is still going on) and gets a chewing gum out for the linesman (to stop him calling the balls out)
... When the umpire ruled against them, Bobo promptly runs to his bag again to get another chewing gum for the umpire
... Ivanisevic mimicking some of his famous on-court tantrums by throwing down his racquet several times
... Bobo unnecessarily disputing the umpire's calls and whilst the dispute was going on, Ivanisevic continues to serve. Without a partner, Ivanisevic and Leconte easily won the points against Donnelly. During court end changes, with Ivanisevic and Leconte seated, Bobo quickly runs to the other end to get ready to serve to an empty court in order to get the easy points.
... with a winning shot from Leconte, the umpire declares Advantage to Ivanisevic (Leconte's partner), which Leconte got jealous about and complained to the umpire that it was him who hit the winning shot so it should be Advantage Leconte.

Ivanisevic showed a different side to his serious and sometimes foul tempered mood during his competitive singles career. This was so much fun.

It was such a treat overall! Really really enjoyed myself!!!!

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

2006-07-05T17:21:00.000+01:00

Magical... To have a nanny who can pull endless objects out of a small bag... A nanny who flies with a magical umbrella... Medicine that tastes like whatever you want to... Someone who makes cleaning fun... One who gives children a taste of their own medicine without necessarily hurting them... Practically perfect!... A place where you can buy words and conversation... (I can think of a few who should sell them to balance out the 'noise'! See one of my previous posts titled 'blahblahblahblahblah....') Anyway...

If you haven't figured already, I went to watch Mary Poppins yesterday. Although I had to learn how to play Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious on the piano when I was younger, it was only at the musical yesterday that I learnt how to say it without looking at the word! It was fun! Really enjoyed myself!

Chim chiminey, chim chiminey, chim chim cher-ee...

Laptop-less

2006-07-02T22:20:00.000+01:00

For the first time since Easter break, I didn't bring my laptop home with me for the weekend. Ah, it's so nice not to do work over the weekend. It took a bit of willpower on Friday for me to resist packing my laptop in its case and bringing it home. There's still work that needed to be done but I thought enough was enough for that week. It can wait till Monday. It's lovely to have the weekend to do what I want, which admittedly wasn't much but it was still great that it was time for myself! :)

Oh, in my two week absence from updating the blog because of hectic workloads, I still managed to take an evening off to watch the Lion King (the musical). Oh, it was brilliant. The vibrant colours! The costumes were so cleverly made to the animals come to 'life'. The giraffes, elephants, hyenas, Timon, Pumbaa...! Zazu was funny, as usual. Only (slight) disappointment was Mufasa's death which wasn't as touching as the film but it was still good good good!

Falling Leaves

2006-07-02T18:20:00.000+01:00

Adeline Yen Mah writes beautifully about her childhood in China. Born as the youngest daughter in a family of five with her mum passing away not long after her birth, she has not had an easy childhood. In what would have sounded like a typical Cinderella set up, her dad re-married and the step mum was cunning and manipulative - even on her deathbed. She played the siblings against each other to her own advantage.

Adeline wrote of being left out most times. How she yearned for her father and stepmother's love and affection. How she wanted to be part of a united loving family. Time and time again, as a child, throughout school, going through to university and eventually in her own family, she tried to find out if her father and stepmother loved her. She tried to get them to accept her and be proud of her achievements. Time and time again, she was rejected.

Impressively, instead of being depressed by this, Adeline used all this in a positive way. She studied hard, she worked hard. All the time, all she wanted was for her parents to acknowledge her achievements. At the slight chance that they might, she dropped what she had to pursue that little chance that doing this or that would make them happy. It never turned out that way. However, she emerged triumphant. She is a success in her own right. Despite attempts by her own family to 'bring her down' (whom you would expect to be the most supportive), she came out of all this a real winner.

I respect her for what she has been through - the emotional and physical abuse, and turning that into something positive. Only a strong person can do that. Adeline Yen Mah did that.

Playing God

2006-07-02T12:29:00.000+01:00

This is a rant. Just to pre-warn you.

I was infuriarated after reading this article. I totally agreed with PATCHES's contribution in the Opinion pages. It is indeed authorities' biased cruelty to dogs. Council 'president' Abdul Halim Abdul Latif says the situation only became chaotic when the dog owner turned aggressive.

Uh-huh.

So poor Eng Her Sun was going to sit back and watch the dog shooters just kill his dogs? I treated my dogs as my family and totally empathise with Mr Eng - I would go mental if anyone hurt my dogs much less even try to kill them. Council 'president' says they had 'no choice' because of mounting complaints from neighbours of the noise etc. Agree that perhaps Mr Eng should have been more considerate. Think about moving the dogs to other areas. But just to kill them on the basis they didn't have a choice? Time to stop using their brains to think about how best to get bribes and what excuse to give the caller on the phone about their poor service. I have been amazed at the creativeness these people have when it comes to inventing excuses for their sloppiness and laziness so it does show that they do have brains and can use it if they want to. Time to start using those brains for the right reasons - what about offering Mr Eng to re-house his dogs?

I must say - I'm not even sure why I'm shocked at the Malaysian authorities' actions. The bias-ness towards dogs happens all the time. In order to get a dog licence in one of the cities, you would have to get permission from your neighbours before you get a dog. I'm sure there is good reasoning behind this. But why dogs only? Why not cats? My parents had a neighbour two doors away who had about ten cats and there was no sign that he would stop the cats breeding anyway. Fair enough if it's his choice. But he doesn't stop his cats from trespassing into others' houses and doing their business in others' gardens. He doesn't stop them from climbing onto and scratching neighbours' cars. When asked about them, he merely shrugs. Then when one of his cats trespassed into my parents' garden and my dogs got excited, he got annoyed at MY dogs in MY parents' garden for aggravating the cat who trespassed. Ooooooh - was I annoyed then. Why blame the poor things whose only crime was to give all their love and trust to (wo)men - more than I can say for most humans?

So ok, agree that the authorities in here may have had a case. But why stop at dogs? If you have good reasoning for it, then the same should be done for cats, etc. I can make it my personal mission to find all houses with more than 2 cats (the allowed number for dogs in most places) and will happily provide it to the authorities free of charge. But I won't do that. Because 1) I don't believe the cats should be shot either; 2) I won't stoop to the same level of the authorities and smug dog shooters; and 3) I have better things to put my brain to use on. Authorities should think about having more events to make sure people are responsible pet owners. That they know when dogs do their business outside, they should scoop it up and dispose of it properly. That their cats should not wander around into others' gardens.

Here's another thought for the authorities thinking up of more excuses to make dog owners' (or actually, all residents) lives miserable and give authorities a chance to earn their money: Why don't you make all residents ask their neighbours' permissions before having a child? Ask all neighbours before you can have a piano, organ or any musical instrument - because it would make noise too. Ask all neighbours before you can have a motorcycle and take out the silencer so it that does the annoying loud vrooooom noise when it starts and goes.

Football changes you

2006-06-28T19:50:00.000+01:00

It's strange. Walk up to most men and if you shove them, they try and stay deeply rooted to the ground. Give them a friendly punch and they will not wince. If they were hurt in an accident or fight, despite evident bruises, they claim it does not hurt.

Put them on the football pitch and that all changes. Players from top football nations seem to transform into weird clumsy creatures on the football pitch. Tripping over a blade of grass with no intervention from humans or nature. A slight touch to any part of the body and it sends them sprawling to the ground. Hit them on the chest and they tumble spectacularly and end up holding their face or leg in agony. These occurrences increase even more when they are within the special box also known as the penalty area.

Bizarre, isn't it?

Oh to be a child again...

2006-06-25T18:24:00.000+01:00

...to believe that mummy and daddy are all-knowing and all-powerful...
...to eat and play and sleep...
...and sleep and play and eat...
...to believe that toys come out to play after midnight...
...to be carried everywhere...
...t0 have only one worry: when to throw the next tantrum - when they're eating food for adults, or to get the new toy?...
...to only worry about getting all stars in the nursery art work (meaning colour (any colour) within the lines, not ouside)...
...to believe that mummy and daddy will protect you from anything...
...to have your every wish as everyone else's command (within reason and sometimes depends on gender and order of birth)...
...to fully trust in everyone...

Oh to be a child again and be full of trust and belief! Long road of promises ahead!

Little things remind me of being a child again....

Alpha Kindy, for obvious reasons
the song 'New York New York' as that was one of my first dance performances. How I frustrated the teacher at practice because I kept twirling the wrong way. Only getting it right at the concert itself.
'You are my sunshine' - my first solo song performance. At that time, I could just about get away with being tuneless with having a 'cute' costume that my mom painstakingly made.
Webster - eating 'nga po fan' with my mom while watching Webster some evenings when dad's working late or has an evening function.
Full House - following the Tanner family through their family sagas.
Swings - trying to push myself up in the air as far as possible - not sure why!
Swimming - my favourite past time with my dad, trying to beat him at swimming because that would mean I was the fastest (of course, I thought my dad was the fastest, strongest, cleverest man in the world, so to beat him at swimming meant I got one of the 'titles'!).
SJBC - grew up with Sunday school friends and teachers.
Panini sticker books - falling for those gimmicks and trying in vain to get the books all filled up. If only some stickers weren't so elusive....
Mind Your Language - the TV show I watched with my dad just before going to bed. Is it to blame for my language skills now? Perhaps...
Yamaha classes - music classes in a fun way. Having a go at the drums, triangle, castanets, bells. Singing Sayonara to each other at the end of each class.
Ballet classes - little pink chiffon skirts and leotards. My first dance prop - the bird cage.

Steamboat

2006-06-24T23:57:00.000+01:00

With Jenny and Karim....